Parents are the first people we start to form a relationship with. They are the people we first form a bond with of love, respect, commitment. It’s a given fact that our parents love us unconditionally. However, as we grow older, our relationship changes with our parents.
Our parents were there to help us as children. As they raised us, our parents provided support and love. As our parents’ age, it is possible that we, as adult children, will be called upon to become “parents” to our parents. But there are unique challenges to parenting a parent. Here are some tips to help you navigate this new role.
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1. Learn about the needs of your parents
Are they in need of medication management assistance? Are they in need of budget guidance? Are they able to help with daily activities like brushing their teeth, bathing, and cooking? Adult children can help their parents understand their needs and still maintain their dignity by being supportive.
2. Create a plan to help your parent
Every senior is different. Your parent might only require help with managing their finances. This is all they will need. Allow your parent to retain some control while still receiving the necessary assistance.
3. Recognize Their Need for Independence
It is a difficult task to parent a parent. The key to a smooth transition from an adult child into a senior caregiver is to protect and preserve your parent’s dignity. Avoid using a condescending tone and treating your parent in a childlike way. Instead, you should ask them for their input and give them guidance when needed. This will make it easier for you to reverse the roles.
4. Practice Gentle Assertiveness
This is your parent, and you’re now taking on the role of their parent. Be respectful, but assertive when discussing difficult topics. Both of you will need to adjust to this shift in dynamic. This is especially important when it comes to safety issues, such as driving alone or living on your own.
5. Keep your eyes on the positive
It’s easy to get caught up in the responsibilities of your new role. But, it is important to remember to have fun with your loved ones. Over time, roles and relationships change. As you adjust to this new dynamic, be patient with your parents and yourself. Don’t forget the life lessons your parents taught you. Make it your goal to be a parent in a similar manner.